false hope

i had this stupid dream last night…i was on a big house…there were people about my age…it seemed like we were celebrating something…then i was introduced to my real father whom i’ve never seen my whole life (that’s how the dream went by…which is of course – not true in reality)…he was in his late 40’s…we hugged tight, talked like there’s no tomorrow, laughed out loud and more – a father-and-son intimate moment…just the two of us…then, everything went blank…

I find it stupid because it only made me feel bad when i woke up…and its breaking my heart; reality-wise, i know my real father, he’s also in he’s late 40’s however we don’t have that intimate moment or we never had that intimate moment…he never showed anything fatherly to me or gave me any of his time or whatsoever…Somehow i wished that the man on my dream was my real father instead…but the fact that i could not remember his face made me feel worse… 

~ by nelmski on March 5, 2008.