vacation treat or trick

I’m back! I had a pretty weeklong vacation due to the Holy Week Holidays…though it didn’t go according to what was planned, at least i had learned a few good things and reunited with some old good friends.

It’s back to work and of course, what do i expect – pending tasks, stress, pressure and all other sorts of buggy stuffs. They aren’t gone, and whether i like it or not, i have no choice but to face them. The only difference right now is that i have this freakin ENERGY to face them. I know this won’t be easy and trust me, i’m gonna suck on the upcoming days but at least if ever i’m going to suck again which i hope that it won’t happen, at least i have tried my best to start it with a positive attitude.

Going back to the Holy Week Holidays, its been not so holy for me coz i didnt give a damn on celebrating it. I admit it, its kinda boring and you know…So i busied myself playing all sorts of games on my PC and watched pirated DVDs the entire week almost all the time. And i realized that i kinda find it boring too. I just get stressed out defeating those AIs. On the other hand there were also happy moments…I got the oppurtunity to reunite with my old good friends in college and i really really missed them so much! We had dinner for a couple of nights and lunch too!

And the last but not the least, i realized one thing – I NEED GOD IN MY LIFE!!!

mr. plainview was right…

i can see the worst in people. how i wish i could run away from them. but i know it isn’t the right choice. I  myself is stinky and even worse than them. i wonder why we live life like these – making stupid decisions, spoiling our wants, and always choosing what is wrong than what is right…

the lady in uniform

I was sitting on a bench in front of a grocery store waiting for my friend who bought something when i noticed this female security guard. She walks to and fro on the entrance/exit area of the grocery store with poised. Actually that was not my first time of seeing her right there; I almost get to see her everyday on that area because i go to that grocery almost everyday too right after lunch. Its just that now i had the time to give a part of my time and think about her. I started to wonder if she doesn’t get tired of standing or walking around on that area for a couple of hours…hmmm…does she? If i’m on her place, i think i won’t last for an hour or less. It seems a pretty tough job huh…

I just realized that we meet a lot of people everyday and we only rarely get the oppurtunity to stop and think about them at least for a second – what they do, how they do it, what are they thinking or what they feel…stuffs like that. We are all busy minding our own personal lives and ignore the rest of the world. So now i was also wondering if by some sort of chance, as i sit there on that bench alone starring and thinking about that lady guard, somebody also had a time to stop and think about me even just on a split second…hmmm…interesting.

when love is a losing game…

I’m starting to love the song ‘Love is a Losing Game’  by Amy Whinehouse…as the music plays, i can feel like its breathing…like a soul…the melody is very slow yet sweet but the lyrics – so heartbreaking…so thankful that there are artists like amy who has the gift like this…

 On the second thought, i think i already fell in love with it…and with sweet amy.

rain or shine

The weather is misbehaving since last week. Its very hot on late mornings until the middle of the afternoon; The heat will really scorched your skin when you stay long outdoor. Then heavy downpour comes surprisingly every late afternoon until evening. Ain’t it crazy? Well, the hot weather is expected because its almost summer; but the heavy rains? my goodness! I already got sick twice because of the weather! And i’m still sick until now. I got this running nose and irritable cough.

I hope the weather gets fine on the coming days…

false hope

i had this stupid dream last night…i was on a big house…there were people about my age…it seemed like we were celebrating something…then i was introduced to my real father whom i’ve never seen my whole life (that’s how the dream went by…which is of course – not true in reality)…he was in his late 40’s…we hugged tight, talked like there’s no tomorrow, laughed out loud and more – a father-and-son intimate moment…just the two of us…then, everything went blank…

I find it stupid because it only made me feel bad when i woke up…and its breaking my heart; reality-wise, i know my real father, he’s also in he’s late 40’s however we don’t have that intimate moment or we never had that intimate moment…he never showed anything fatherly to me or gave me any of his time or whatsoever…Somehow i wished that the man on my dream was my real father instead…but the fact that i could not remember his face made me feel worse… 

good omens

A demon and an angel…close friends…accustomed to their comfortable and cozy lives on the human world – the earth…plotted to save the world from its fate – the apocalypse or the end of the world by keeping an eye on Satan’s son – the anti christ…

Hmmmm…A demon and an angel as good friends? turning the anti-christ a christian? really very interesting! the most interesting plot i’ve ever heard so far and i am so eager to read the book right now and then! But…i don’t have a copy of the book yet. A friend of mine – who is also my officemate – told me about that book just a while ago when we were eating our lunch. He told me that he will going to lend me the book after his wife finishes reading it by the end of this week. I really can’t wait that long!!! huhuhu

plan b

I was planning to extend my PAIN-IN-THE-ASS work on the weekends so that i could catch up with my job because as of the moment i have a lot of pending tasks to finish. However, i changed my mind. Why do it on the weekends if i have today and tomorrow to do all these stuffs? Yeah, it sounds impossible considering the volume of tasks to be done and two days seems not enough. But i don’t care anyways. I’ll just give my best shot and let’s see the outcome. Hmmm, do you think i can make it? Well I hope so because i want to give myself a fucking break this weekend coz i deserve one!!!

sigh

Here i go again. I’m experiencing a heavy down pour of negative thoughts – personal problems, pressures at work, and a whole lot more. I’m soaked and wet. I feel so cold and empty. Thanks to sixpence none the ritcher for their songs – my only refuge in times like these…

birthday girl

I would like to dedicate this space for my mom (grandma) who is celebrating her 76th birthday today. She’s the most wonderful person in my life and i owe her most of what i have become. She has been my mother, protector, mentor, inspiration and almost my everything. I could never imagine my life without her.

So as she celebrates her birthday today i wish her all the best in life – good health, prosperity, and HAPPINESS. I pray that she will enjoy each moment of her life – free of tears, pains, and sorrows.

‘I love you nanay (mom)’